Not going to plan..............

You know, you wake up and eat your breakfast, plan out what you want to get accomplished, and make necessary plans to do it. You call those that can help you with this endeavour and feel pretty good about yourself. However, this rarely ever goes exactly the way you want. There is always something that interferes or takes things out of sync no matter how much you plan for it. The thing that we all have to realize is that these things happen, look for the opportunities that it does bring, and try our best to take advantage of it! If everyone really sits and thinks about it, most of our greatest moments came after some botched plan. So dont really change your morning rituals, because sometimes things to come to fruition, just keep an open mind and heart for whatever the day ultimately brings. And then you get to really enjoy the moment!

Alternative thinking............

Monday starts the month of March, which is when I think we should start the new year. I think that is why so many people fall short of their resolutions. How can you try to when its cold, cloudy, and just flat out depressing. Maybe if more people started their goals on March 21st, more people would feel better about themselves. If you have to use January 1st for something, utilize it as the start of planning what you want to do the rest of the year and plan for it the next 10plus weeks. No one has to do it, but I do think it could be a positive alternative. Till next time.............

The Buck Stops Here

So after weeks of good fortune, life finally evened itself out. From the moment I woke up on Monday it has been nothing but a struggle. The first week that truly reminded me of life before I started trying to change things about my life. And I would like to think today is rock bottom day of it all, but we all know that there is always a lower level you can go. However, as I'm writing this piece of work, I do feel quite a bit better. I do feel like even though things hurt, I am growing stronger as a person. And that is what I do want each and every day, a sense of growing one way or another. And I do know this storm will end just like the others. Will it be bright and sunny? I really doubt it because this storm opened my eyes of what path I have been walking on lately. And its not really the way that I want to be anymore. Not that my decisions have been bad, in all truth fairly good ones, but I have to hold myself to a higher standard than I used to(which was already higher than most people hold themselves). Instead of focusing on improving on myself, I want to continue on helping other people. I set a goal on improving my community and I havent done anything at all. I am supposed to be surrounding myself with like-minded people and while I have done this to some degree, I could and should be doing a lot better. I am supposed to be building a mind and body to be able to do more than I ever could, but it seems like I cannot maintain anything more than a few days. More than anything I am writing as a vent because no one individually needs this upon themselves, but I do hope it does help someone else that is probably going through the same struggles. And I do hope people pray that I come through this with a sense of growth and can do the things I have mentiioned not only today, but since mid December. Until I write again, Im gonna keep fighting!!!!!

Living.................

Sometimes, things just arent as easy as you would like them. Some days are going to be harder than what you need them to be. Struggling is just a part of everyone's life that really cannot be prevented. There are going to be times where you really feel at the bottom of the barrel and not worth anything. And the day will come when you feel completely alone with no one to stand by you. However, its during these times when you really find out who you are and what you stand by. Times like this are when the greatest people find themselves and use the hurt and pain to make a difference not only for themselves, but for others. Nothing great was ever done easily, there is always a struggle. If it seemed easy, then it really isnt great. There is always a higher level, and to reach it you have to give something up. So the question you have to really and truly ask yourself is, what do you have to give up in order to do the greatness we were all put on this Earth to do, and when the time comes, can you in fact do it? I really hope that I can when the time comes, but it would really help if I even knew what has to be taken away?

just staying busy..........

Forget everything I said about last week, definitely beat that this week. Apparently somehow I applied for business school and hopefully that goes through. Just been trying to be the best guy I can be and do everything possible that I can. Sorry Ive been slacking in the writing department, as soon as things slow down I am going to try my best to keep things updated. So I'm gonna close out for now, but I plan on having more details in the next few days......ttyl

Holiday Weekend................

So this has been by far the most productive week of the year! And I do feel like this was the first week I actually fufilled my goal of being there and helping people as well. So in that respect, I feel pretty good about life. And I do believe this weekend will be productive as well. I am actually looking at a school first thing tomorrow morning, which is something I usually would be against. However, its time for change, and how can I help anyone else if I dont help myself. So that settles that. But...........thats all Im doing for myself, I am going to continue to help others throughout the weekend and see where that leads me. Hopefully something worth sharing happens and hopefully everyone has a good weekend and spends time with someone they care about.........peace!!!

Krystal's value meal and the aftereffects of my digestive system...........

So Ive tried being productive this week. Gotten in a couple of workouts that I wished I had more time to do more(and less people in the gym), actually worked my job, finished a book and started another, and started Nip/Tuck season one. Ok, maybe some of that wasnt so productive, but when you get insomnia, anything seems progressive. And yes, I do get occasional insomnia, doesnt everyone? Anytime my mind begins to wander, my sleep begins to disappear. And my mind right now is on safari, so guess what that means? However, I do think when it does decide to come back, a lot of things will make sense, the decisions I know I have to make will come clear, and lots of sleep! I really dont know which of those I am most excited about, they all sound magnificient. But until then, Im going to continue to train for this half-marathon, read as much as possible, pray and hope that the choices I make are mature and build towards something productive. And enjoy this tea, just because it says value meal doesnt mean your body values the contents.............

reflections from "The Noticer"

So, I finished this book in about 3plus hours once you factor everything in. I really took my time, reflected a bit here and there are soaked a lot in. The character Jones is definitely someone that I would definitely like to come across from time to time. Throughout the book, he goes from person to person to give perspective on how things can be looked at one way or another. If you have read "The Traveler's Gift" the writing style and method should be very familiar. I would give a more in-depth synopsis, but I think everyone should read themselves so they can make their own assessment. But I do recommend it. If anything, I would suggest it to anyone that feels confused or at a crossroads, which in truth, who isnt?

where the cold things are..............

Winter time, you are not my favorite time of the year.............

Anyways, about at the midpoint of what I call winter, and I am just about over it. I know it has been a while since we have had one, but it still sucks. You cant do anything, you have to run inside, and people's moods in general are lower. However, I guess you just have to grind it out and see where things go. On a positive note, I ran more miles than hours I slept today (4 vs 3.45). It has been a long time since I can say that claim. Of course, its been a while since I have ran 4 miles in general and im used to over 8 hours a sleep, so I guess it was just meant to be. On another positive note, I have two wonderful books I get to read this week and I do plan on sharing my thoughts and learning experiences from it all. Right now, I am reading the noticer by Andy Andrews who wrote a book I read 3 weeks ago(The Travelers Gift). So I am really looking forward to that. Well, hopefully this week is as productive as last week if not better. And hopefully life's path brings me to a internet connection to share about it. Peace out...............

Keeping it real

This week has been nothing short of a challenge. However, through it all I still managed to get everything done that was needed to be accomplished. So that feels good to say the least. However, a lot of things have been opened up in my mind and in my heart that I really dont see easily closing. And the worst thing about it is I really dont know what to do, or how to handle it. I do hope that prayer and just doing some deep soul searching does a whole lot to make me at least feel more at peace with everything. I am not asking for answers right now as much as what are even the questions. I am that far lost in everything right now. But............when you ask for growth and change, you will in fact recieve those things. So now it really begins. What I was searching for back in December is looking at me in the face. What kind of man do I in fact want to be? What are the things that really make me feel alive? Have I really surrounded myself around the right people to fully utilize my God given abilities? Those are the simple ones I do know are out there, but the real deep to the core ones have yet to be seen. Hopefully these questions come out in the following days and then I will try to concentrate on answering a few.

A lazy weekend.

So I just completed the laziest non-sick weekend in my adult life. Sure, ive had lazy days here and there, but to stay at home and not leave the house for two and a half days................thats unheard of by my standards. I looked outside a time or two, but except for a finger once or twice I didnt venture outside. Slept for at least 10 hours each day counting random naps. I did get to finish a book or two, caught up on some movies, and really got to reflect on a few things that I have needed to for months. Does that mean better meaningful writing, I sincerely doubt it. Could it mean more insightful thoughts, possibly. Do I feel rested, you bet! Would I recommend this type of two days, depends on what you usually do. Some people need two days of high activity to really make them feel alive. So maybe just do something totally out of your character and stick with it long enough to really appreciate it, then possibly your normality won't be as bleh. I would like to thank snowstorm for all of this, without snowstorm, I wouldnt have been so lazy. Next up, being productive and seeing where that takes me.............

Hello, My name is.................

I have no clue. Yes, that is currently my name. I have no clue what my name is, who I am, or what I am supposed to do. I have no idea what purpose I have or what my mark is supposed to be in this world. I have no clue when I am supposed to know or how I will now. I have no clue what the journey I am about to take will do to who I have been . I have no clue on who I shall be and I have no clue who will be there alongside me. I have no clue and dont really need a clue either. Its not really about knowing is it? Its about taking those steps to possibly have a clue. When I get that clue, I shall say what my name is as loud as I possibly can. Until then, my name is I have no clue.................