Sometimes, due to the chain of events that lead up to an unplanned conclusion, we all learn something about ourselves. And hopefully have the time and energy to process and even analyze the situation properly. And that moment happened to me late last night. The chain of events or the conclusion arent whats important here, only what Ive learned. And personally, I believe behind the controlled sensible person there is someone else that needed to get out. Like suppressing a small child in a corner, that is what I have done to a part of the being I call myself. And I wonder what everyone else suppresses or holds back for what I am sure feels like the greater good. The real question..............Is it for the greater good? Personally, its not an easy choice. During my process of trying to "grow up", I have not taken enough time to be free and just go with the wind. Therefore when I finally let a little bit of it out, I go haywire (or just not controlled). So I have learned that to ultimately be the person I want to be, I am going to have to give myself more freedom to express all the aspects of myself. Otherwise there could be a moment that I self-destruct and all that I have worked on will be lost. I really do believe though, that doing for those that I do not know and actually enjoying things for the moment will ultimately help in this area. And probably an occasional kick in the behind for good measure. And that, will be a chain of events that will lead to a happy conclusion...................
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